Me, Myself and I – Daniel Brownell Music

What’s in a Weekend?

During this time, I find that weekend are pretty crazy concepts right now. The weekend usually meant not having to go to work, being around the house and working on house things or landscaping around the outside. Trouble is that right now I’m around the house all the time. And I worked outside when the weather was good. And while my wife and I would normally thinking getting to spend time together was special because our work schedules often conflicted and resulted in seeing little of each other, and things like making dinner together and sitting down to eat it would be rare things (like unicorns), we’ve done it every night. Heck, we’ve even had movie night several nights this week.

I think it’s important to keep our work and personal lives separate. And its important to take breaks from work. It’s tempting to work constantly, and it can happen really easily if you really like your work, or you don’t structure yourself effectively. Its especially difficult with those of us that do not have 9-5 jobs and there’s a need and an expectation that sometimes work has to come home. Some of us ride a roller coaster too, with times of higher volume of work and times of lower.

My jobs are like this. Technically I work a 35 hour a week church music job, and a 20-30 hour a week music education job. For the church job, I do ride the roller coaster….sometimes around the high holidays like Christmas and Easter, I end up working 40-50 hour weeks, and then there’s the planning phase for these, which usually results in higher weeks leading up to the holidays. But then there are weeks in the summer where I might only work 15 hours. The teaching job goes up and down too, around concerts and tests etc. And of course we have the summer off. But even with the insane hours, I get a tremendous amount of autonomy, and the ability to create my own schedule. I sometime prefer to work very late because I’m a bit of a nightowl, and I can do that. They call it a task-oriented contract.

Over the years, I’ve found that my level of exhaustion and mental health, has required me to be more structured with my work. I carefully monitor the time that I work and the time that I don’t, and I set specific tasks to complete and then complete them. It battles my perfectionist nature of wanting things to all be done, in jobs where things are never completely done.

In this time that I am at home, the schedule has been my salvation in even more wonderful ways. Because all the work is being done here, and to avoid getting locked up and feeling like I’m just on 24 hour call, I’ve relied even more heavily on the schedule and structure. It’s a way to keep working (which I am grateful to be able to do as I watch so many others getting furloughed or having their work cancelled all together because of this damn virus), while not going crazy.

May you all have the opportunity to keep working, and to not go stir crazy at home. Reread my silver lining post, often if you want (I sure do), and remember that this situation will end eventually. Eventually this virus will go away, and we’ll be able to get back to whatever semblance of normalcy in our lives we can find again. Its a matter of time, not a matter of if.

Taking Care of Yourself….

With March upon us, I feel the need to talk about stress and taking care of oneself. March for me is the longest month of the spring; its a colossus of nearly 5 weeks that contains the busiest of times. Its when the All-State Music Festival, Lent music, Easter Preparation, a big Spring Concert, and more happen. It involves a bunch of late nights, which I normally don’t mind, but this is the time of year my battery can be so low, and it often takes more time to recharge than I have to completely recharge it. As someone who’s struggled with trying to lose weight and stay healthy in general, its a time of year when the stress level can get so high that I get manic for periods and it ends up really hurting. So how do I push through?

Well, the truth is that I’m no expert at it. And sometimes life really tries to challenge my equilibrium. Something as simple as a spill in the kitchen can send me right over the bloody falls; just tonight I dropped a glass pitcher, and while no one was hurt, it did cost me an extra half hour to clean up the spilled coffee….I was about ready to lose it, but I stared at the mess silently (ok truth be told, I did tell it to fu..log itself)..and took a breath. Then I just cleaned it up, and moved on. But it meant I was up later than I wanted to be, and on a night when I had a long day coming and I was already feeling the effects of cold and flu season.

Its important to remember that old adage: life is not a sprint, it’s a marathon. And for someone who’s really a born sprinter (both on land and in the water), its hard for me to remember that sometimes. I get so tired of feeling like my entire life is just a matter of looking ahead to the next thing. That idea was attractive in my mid twenties, but as a 30 year old on the brink of 31, I want to enjoy life because the prime of my life is now. Its about finding that one thing in the long days that keeps me going and interested. Even in a job that is in my field, and doing something I love, the crazier the time and the more stress, the more I want to get away from it all. But its also in those moments where things are really what they are supposed to be.

It’s also about finding balance. Balance is my favorite word in the English language. Even itself, the word is balanced; its seven letters long meaning there’s two groups of three with one in the middle. And its what we all strive for in life. Unfortunately, its often an exponential journey, that is that its almost impossible to find, and even if you have it, it almost always goes away quickly. What about life requires balance? Truly, it’s a balance in everything. Balance between our personal and professional lives. Balance in our diets. Balance in our relationships. Balance, balance, balance. It’s the golden hue of life.

So if balance is what you seek, keep seeking it. Often your mental health is connected deeply to everything. If you feel good about things, it often helps see things in a good light. If you are negative about things, it’ll temper them as such. And you can fool yourself into feeling any way you want; as long as you aren’t stubborn or proud to feel that way. Don’t be a self-fulfilling prophecy unless its about a good thing. And keep breathing. Breathing is the simplest form of self-care there is. A few deep breaths during the day can heal the soul just a little bit. A deep breath in a stressful situation, whether it be an unpleasant conversation, or other whatever, can be the difference between keeping your job and serious consequences. That extra second, can be the difference between you regaining or losing complete control. And you’ll feel better for keeping the control. Feel free to post the different ways you deal with life’s curveballs in the comments section.