As a youth, who understood less of the world than I do today, I used to think the once a year honorary holidays went something like this:
“Hey its MLK day, its the one day a year we try not to be racist.”
“Hey It’s Mothers Day, its that day in May we remember Mom and get her gifts not on her birthday or Christmas!”
“Hey It’s Father’s Day (wait a second didn’t we just do this?) its the day in June we remember Dad and get him gifts not on his birthday or Christmas.” (and I experience that weird French thing I can never pronounce).
“Hey Its Valentine’s Day (and shit, I’m like several months late), its the one day you remember your significant other and get him or her, or whomever, gifts not on their birthday or Christmas. But luckily for me, I’m a nerd with no love prospects, so I dodged a bullet there.” (remember this was “youth” me. My romantic situation has greatly improved later in life).
Ok, so I know that’s an overly simplistic and narrow-minded view of these holidays, but let’s try to remember that I might’ve been 8 at the time. But unfortunately, there are grown-ass adults who have this view about these holidays. And I believe its a plague on our society. And it greatly diminishes the special power of these days, spiraling them right down into either miserable obligation or experiencing them for what they are not (hey, MLK is that day off in January after the real holidays).
I think it comes down to being a less ego-centric society. As a general whole, regardless of those who exist on the fringe of such a spectrum, we are a fairly selfish society. We think of ourselves largely before others, and because our society has a propensity towards con-artistry (which is another form of selfishness…and a particularly evil one at that), we are far less trusting of our fellow human being the we used to be. And that’s not necessarily a bad approach since the world is full of thugs and cronies and its easy to get ripped off. We also have a tendency to demonize someone who is kind-hearted and chooses to see the good in people, as pathetically naive and headed for a life of being manipulated.
But its more than that. We don’t value relationships as much as we should, because so much is automatic. Let’s face it, there are some parents out there who absolutely….well suck. And don’t deserve a day that is dedicated to good parentage. And while Christmas and birthdays may be more of an obligation, maybe parentage day shouldn’t be for those who don’t deserve it. Also, kids shouldn’t necessarily get to make the call on that until they are parents themselves, or who have taught for long enough. But worse than that, we shouldn’t STOP thinking about people because we get this one automatic day for them. We shouldn’t stop thinking about our spouse because its not Valentine’s Day.
More insidiously, we shouldn’t lessen the impact of something like MLK Day because we think that racism has improved to an acceptable standard. And right now I’m going to place a big disclaimer in the rest of this post, that I am not commenting on MLK in terms of Martin Luther King, himself. Separately, we should honor this great man. But I’m going to comment on the racism awareness aspect of this holiday. Racism has not improved to an acceptable standard. Because there IS no acceptable standard. The acceptable standard of racism, sexism, homophobia, classicism, and really any ism, is eradication…ism. And until that happens, we’ll never be as free and as open to all people as we claim to be. MLK should remind us that every day, we should be fighting for a better America.
So, while I’m not calling for an abolishment of the “honorary” holidays, I am calling for us to change our daily actions, awareness, and mindset to make them obsolete. And I’ll say again, that MLK should never become obsolete in terms of honoring Martin Luther King. But let’s fight for an America that makes racism obsolete, so that the day can celebrate our progress to a great society. Let’s make a better effort to celebrate our parents, so that Mother’s and Father’s Day might become just another day in May and June because of our actions. And let’s make a better effort to appreciate our spouses, so that every day, can be Valentine’s Day.
By becoming better people, we will have more fulfilling relationships, and be a better America.